There's a cavern in place of my body.

It just emerged from that murky water
where every other thing that beats and kills me comes from.

Random is when they comes,
but this time, one, two, three right in a row the bad things find and eat me.

The bad things make me their leader
because I'm the most ugliest, bruised one
but the weird thing is; they say I'm not.
They say there's worse, the raped, starved, dead.

They say I should just un-beat, un-harm, un-sadden myself.
I don't matter, not as much as the ones with those bigger issues...
But I should still be alive and smile into cameras.

How am I to do that if my insides are degrading into gray worms
and I'm trying oh so hard to make my outside the same again,

Can I matter to a person, here on earth?
No one has since I got emotions.

What to do when there's no ice to numb your ache,

All the planets in the worlds of places I have in my head are constantly falling on top of each other because there is no gravity, there is nothing pulling anything together to revolve around anything at all inside this body of mine.

This is too much.